i terribly hate this feelings. no one can and will understand how i feel. ego? nah. i don't think so, cause after all i was the one who gone through it. all alone. my thoughts was to text my babygirls and let them know abt the situation i am in. but my fingers just can't text the msg to them, or should i say it my heart. i don't want them to worry about my non-stop complains about him. cause after all, i'm gonna be okay with him.
the night has told me. i did have my guts and confronted how i felt. still, no actions taken and oh! act-ed as if nothing happen. i'm feeling very i-don't-know-how-to-describe. i'm not sure if i need someone to talk to. i felt like a toy being thrown one side, when needed it will get back on hand. it's isn't for me. or is it karma? you know i only love you although i do contact with other bustards. and yet you still ask, whereas you allowed me to.
did it ever cross your mind why i did so? you wanna know the fucking reason?! because you fucking don't care about me. call me twice or thrice a week? is that what u called "i'm there for you."? threaten me that you'll call me next month instead of tmr? is that what a boyfriend should do? the next time you called, said sorry and told me it was just meant as a joke. the call was few days or should i say it weeks later? how can i tolerate with this? the hang ups phone on me was like a habit after you promised you won't do it again.
and next, you said it was my fault. listen! all i need was your attention, care, and IDK! *speechless*
my friends are all by my side. i want and need time to heal all this. i ain't those girls who's asking for attention from guys who read my blog &sympathize. hell to ya! cause i'm just letting out how i'm feeling right now.
