sometimes i wonder, why my own blood act very cold towards me. i'm the type of person who can't shut up when i'm not in the wrong. isit wrong to stand up for my rights? i know you're someone older than me. or rather, someone who produced me? should i say that? but you. sometimes i feel that i'm not yours. do i come from other people who you pick up from the streets or something? i tried my best to talk or come up with something just to start a conversation. but... your facial expression shows you hate me that much. to the certain extend that i felt so lost and belong to no one.
when you reached home from work, yes i know you're tired. but at least make an initiative to look at me so that i can smile at u. at least? i'm thinking till when we will become like this. seriously, how rude i am, how bad i talk about you to mumy and siblings. life is never ever complete without you. your actions, anytime bring me to tears. almost a week not a single word from you. not even a call. not even a goodluck wish for my practical exam.
i dont know if i'm sad or angry. it can be both. angry at myself for not being a good daughter and maybe angry about you not giving me chance to explain myself. sad, is that how you treat your own blood? accidentally hit me and not even a sorry from you?
i know, i've nvr done good things to please you. i've nvr done anything to make you proud. i've never done anything to make your siblings respect upon you. what i did was, being rude, bad and all. i tried to change for the best to improve our relationship. but it seems that, it has stucked in me. that's my character. that is me. that is who you produced.
keeping a distance from one another is not gonna work. cause i know. i need you in my life. your the most respected and important people in the family. but sometimes, the head of the leader should have a fair side isnt it? you can't favour who you like most. you should give your love to the people you love equally.
i know who i am. i'm not up to your expectation. i'm not the kind who always make you proud but yet bring you down to the core. i'm truly sorry. )':
i cant afford to bring myself upon my mumy and siblings. i dont wish for them to know that i'm upset. because they know, i'm always the happy sort. all this while, i've been putting a strong front. with your actions and words hurt me deep inside. but... afterall your my own blood. once again, i'm truly sorry.):
