its basically my fault. don't blame the people around you when you yourself is not right. why decend now? why?! letting others to overtake your hardwork is the most stupid thing on earth. letting others look down on you. crying is not the solution. pointing to other is not too. you! its you who deprived yourself. let others laugh at u when u fall. disappointment.
"you have the potential to succeed, but where's your effort?" from a sincere teacher. heard that made me feel down to core. i've let myself down. not myself but my parents. not putting effort in everything that i do? at this crucial moment? stupid isn't it?! it made me burn into anger inside. success had betrayed me.
"i was shocked when you passed your physics test. see you can do it right?" from a friend. my family and most of my friends count on me. i can do it. why i deprive myself now?
basically, this things have made me feel that i've not been putting effort. no effort at all. F9 for 2 subjects. E8 for english. ridiculous isn't it when i know i can do it?
everyone is waiting for me to give up. there will be less competition. see them succeed to poly, and myself being in the ITE. wasted another year isn't it? where is all the motivational talk gone to? down the drain? forgotten everything? useless isn't it? waste of time went for the course for straight 3 days when you yourself don't want to change for the better. stupid! YOU'RE STUPID!
dont worry friends. i'm alright. just letting out my inner feelings. pull yourself up and do something saleha! NOW! no more time left. 6 months left. not enough! URGH!
